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kansas_lady51

35 months ago

What do you do if you cannot attend a relatives funeral?

I have lost 4 close relatives in the last 6 months and I am unable to attend their funeral because of my health. My family knows about my health and does not expect me to be at the funerals. When I hear about their deaths I say a prayer for their souls and for those they left behind.
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Paula501

  34 months ago
It seems that as we 'age', there are more and more funerals to attend. If I cannot attend one for one reason or another, I always make sure I send a card of condolences and find a respectful and relevant poem, short story or even a quote to include with the card, that remembers that specific person and their life. These extra notes in cards always make it much more personal and I almost always get a phone call or a card in the mail, thanking me for such kind thoughts. Because of your health, you may consider including a 'special' note or even a reminiscence of that particular person that would be kind and dear to their immediate family members.
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pradaforchris

  34 months ago
So far, I have always managed to attend but there will be a few coming up in the near future that I will not be able to get to. I will say a prayer for all the family and send a personal note. Unfortunately with families being spread out all over the world now it just is not always possible to be in attendance.
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judyge

  34 months ago
So sorry to hear that you have lost four relatives in such a short period. If I can't get to a funeral then I usually send flowers or donate to a charity if that is preferred.
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brigitte hurford

  34 months ago
Firstly, condolences to you on you loss ....I think funerals are a memorial - a way for family and friends to remember and think about the person - I think sitting quietly and thinking about the person in your own way .... in another location is equally valid -
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biscuit14

  34 months ago
If I can't attend a relative's funeral it doesn't concern me at all. The person's dead so they aren'r going to be wanting flowers and you can meet up with friends and relatives at a later date and talk about the one who's dead
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karencampbell61133

  34 months ago
A lot of my family lives 3000 miles away. My sister in law passed away just before my father. I was unable to attend but my sisters and father sent a very nice flower arrangement for the service and spoke with my brother and neice. Also, I went to see my brother a few months latter and went to her grave site. All you need to do is call or send a card or letter of condolence and they will know your heart and prays or with them. I think this does easy their pain knowing someone else cares as much as they do.
Try to stay in touch once a month and give them a chance to talk or write a letter. Showing care and concern is all you need to do.
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Mslady59

  35 months ago
I am usually able to go to the funeral of my close relatives especially if they are of my immediate family or the ones I grew up with. The only time I don’t go is if they lived too far away and I don’t have the money to go or if it is relative that I barely knew. My first cousin, who we considered our uncle and lived next door to me, passed away about four months ago and because of my lack of money I was not able to attend his funeral. I really wanted to go because he was my neighbor and his kids are very close to me.
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Karmel45

  35 months ago
I would send their surviving relatives (if there is any) a condolence card to let them know how sorry you are for their loss.
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LindaOH

  35 months ago
If you can afford it, send flowers or contribute to the charity that they specify in their name...If you can't do that, send a card. I'm sure they'll understand.
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KiltedWarrior

  35 months ago
Only once have I not ben able to attend and that was my nephews funeralu in Australia and it wasn't really practical to attend in person. I sent flowers and spoke to my brother on the phone during the trying time for him. Its not easy not being able to share their grief in person
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