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Once we were ungrouned from each other, I was allowed to go visit her again. After about a week of being able to be around each other we were allowed to go walking again. But visiting him was never to happen again.
The 3rd week she wanted to go back to his house. We bth were missing some things, and figured we had left them at his house.I had argued with her and told her I didn't want to get grouned again. She kept trying to talk me into it,she said we'd only stay for 30 minutes, I also made her swear she wouldn't drink before I said I'd go. She agreed and we went back.
Once we were at his house he was telling us how drunk we were and green when it came to the little amount it took to get us plasterd. He was laughing and making fun of us. I had a really low self esteame, so with the way he was laughing at us and the feeling I was being put down, made me hate what I had done even more.
I went to use the bathroom, on the sink was pics of me and her passed out and nude. It was obvious we were passed out, and that we were posed different in each pic. I was shocked and horrified. When we had awoken the day after getting drunk we had our clothes on, so I couldn't understand how he had gotten naked pics. I called her into the bathroom and showed them to her, she couldn't believe it either. So we left with the pics and didn't go back to his house. a month later I found out I was pregnant, by a black man, scared of what my parents would do.
This made me more depressed and my self esteem drop straight down. I didn't tell anyone for a long time. I was terrified how I'd be treated. At the time I wasn't sure my parents weren't predjudiced. So I had a fear of how I'd be treated by family when I had a mixed child.
Eventually I started showing, even through the baggy clothes I was wearing. My mother had thought I was pg, but wasn't positive till I was getting big enough that there was no doubt. She had said how disapointed she was, and how I had ruined my life.
I had always felt like a failer. I was constantly put down growing up. My parents had both had horrible childhoods. They didn't realize how their past was affecting their kids as we grew up. It was after most of us were grown when they realized how bad of parents they were. After they found out Iwas pg they constantly kept making comments about how terrible it was that I had gotten pg at such a young age. There was no looking on the bright side of anything. I was scared to tell them when it had happened
I was horribly depressed through the whole pregnancy. When I went into labor the fear of the color of the child weighed heavily. I still had no idea how they would react. Now I had never heard my parents speak illy of another race. But felt true colors would surface the moment eyes were laid opon my mixed child.
As I was about to give birth I told my mother( who was in the delivery room with me) that the childs father was black. To my disbelief, She was happy hearing this. She said how beautiful and exotic mixed children were. Then the next thing I know the Dr. said the babies head was crowning. I started halucinating. I remember telling mom that Ralphs cows were out and in our yard again. From what seemed that she was far off in a cave, came the sound of her voice, she said I "know sweety, it'll be alright. Then came the Dr's voice from as distant as hers had seemed.
He was saying that the babies head was stuck, and that my blood presure was too high. I didn't know what blood presssure was and since Iwas alreay having halucinations, I started imagining blood was squirting out at high pressue. Inside I was panicing. Then a nurse yelled that my blood presure had dropped, and that they were losing me and the baby. I don't remember anything after that.
My mom told me that when my blood presure had bottomed out, it was the same time the Dr. was struggling to get the babies head out. She said That I had passed out which made it even harder for the baby to come out, because I wasn't able to push. (look for pt 9)

Okay, we all make mistakes in spelling on here. I know I do. Sometimes I'm horrified to see my question with something misspelled so badly. But some of the stuff I see on here is ridiculous. I don't mean to make fun of anyone but one I saw recently just cracked me up. It asked "How often do you wash your hairs?" My first thiught was, which hairs are you talking about? Then one of the answers was "Never, I'm ball" I don't know maybe i'm in a silly mood but that just made me laugh so hard. On this same note, some of the opinions asked are just downright silly. Like one-"do you like wheat bread or white?" Now that is not a thought provoking question and requires an answer of one word. It could have been a poll but an opinion? I think not. I don't want to get anymore nasty comments so please keep it simple and clean. I don't mind if you disagree with me, in fact I like a good argument but no threats or bad language please!

If someone is not understanding on how you feel, Isn't better to help them understand how you feel? Should it bother them that your trying to help them understand better? So they don't put words in your mouth or think they now and find out letter that they never did understand what you meant or felt. Is it really fair to other person to be misunderstude?

My name is Sarah---- S-A-R-A-H. Not Sara. I do not like it when people misspell my name. Sarah is Biblical, Sara is not. I HATE when people spell my name wrong!! I take it very personally when my own friends spell my name wrong. How about you?? What other ways do you see your named spelled?

I disagree with this saying. When u love someone you dont hurt them for any reason. I believe that the ones we love the most can disappoint us the hardest!